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With the England vs France Six Nations rugby match slated for this weekend, Rugby Rugby’s Howard Johnson takes a look at where he will settle in to watch and who and what will be on the menu.

By Howard Johnson

My favourite game of the year is just around the corner. ‘Le Crunch’, as the French love to call the yearly arm-wrestle with the English, will take place at Twickenham, of course. But for me all the action will be down in my local, where the joshing and jibing has already kicked off in earnest.

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‘Chez Piou’ is the venue I habitually choose when it comes to the big Six Nations face off between England and France. And since Piou and his missus Marion have now started doing excellent home-made French cooking on a Sunday lunchtime we’ve been debating what should be the pre-match meal when white comes up against blue. Me? I was all in favour of coq au vin, but Piou wouldn’t hear of it. “We’re not eating coq before a France match,” he spluttered indignantly. The word eat – ‘bouffer’ – is also used when one rugby team annihilates another, you see. So eating the traditional symbol of French rugby will clearly only bring bad luck. “It’s far better to ‘bouffer le rosbif’,” says Piou, with a wicked glint in his eye. Ha bloody ha!

Of course the pre-match banter is always good-humoured and much will be made of the ‘esprit rugby’ when we all tuck into whatever Piou finally opts to serve up before the real action commences. Can there be any better way in the world to spend a Sunday afternoon than eating and drinking with friends in a French country bar before watching the Northern Hemisphere’s two longest-standing rivals doing battle on a rugby pitch? I’m sure I can’t think of a single thing to top that.

On the pitch things may, of course, be a whole lot less cordial. After Johno’s furious reaction to the nonsense that went on against Ireland and with the French cock (or should that be ‘coq’?)-a-hoop after their superb win against the Welsh it’s all set up perfectly for a fiery encounter come four o’clock on Sunday. Who’s going to win? Oh God, please let it be England. Much as I love the French and the French national team and much as I want them to beat everyone else in the world, when it comes to les Bleus versus les Rosbifs there’s only one team I can honestly root for. Not that I’ll go lording it over my mates if England pull off a victory. I’ve got too much respect for France to start giving it the Big ‘Un like some embarrassing, stupid-hat-wearing English woman did in the same bar two years ago. No, quiet satisfaction will be the order of the day if England win on Sunday. Well, quiet satisfaction with the added magic ingredient of a couple of bottles of house red, I suspect. Mrs Johnson may not know it yet, but methinks she’ll be driving home Sunday evening! And a little snooze in the passenger seat might be in order for me…

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This article first appeared in Rugby Times and is re-printed with permission from the magazine.