It's that time of the year and we've gone and done it again! Rugby Rugby's intrepid spies managed to intercept a few letters bound for good ol' Santa at the north pole. It's our Xmas presents list... with a difference.
Amazingly, we intercepted exactly fifteen letters - incredible, really, that a whole rugby team of players/people wrote into Santa asking for some gifts?!
Here they are then, the Christmas presents that - we think - should have been:
(1) A dinner invite to the Tuilagi household - for Chris Ashton. It would be fun... wouldn't it?
(2) A new England EPS deal for Mike Tindall. Who else were you thinking?
(3) A copy of the words to the South African national anthem, Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrika, for singer Ard Matthews. (Cringe!)
(4) A copy of 'Twitter for Dummies' - for Eliota Fuimaono-Sapolu, Cory Jane and, more recently, Scott Johnson.
(5) A razor for Josh Strauss. Don't you think he looks less scary without his beard? But wait... would that affect his rugby?
(6) A step-ladder for Russian scrumhalf Alexander Yanyushkin; at 1.65m (5ft 5) (and 75kgs) he is not exactly one of rugby's heavyweights, is he?!
(7) An invite to South Africa - complete with a round-the-clock bodyguard - for New Zealand referee Bryce Lawrence. (We'll even throw in a free safari... at a camp without fencing!)
(8) A catchers' mit - for Harlequins flanker Will Skinner. After his 'catching' effort against Toulouse in the Heineken Cup last weekend, imagine how well he would do in the crowd at a Major League Baseball match?
(9) A crystal ball... for anyone in the Top 14. With the news that Freddie Michalak would be joining the big-spending Toulon club in the 2012/13 season; imagine the prospect of facing a backline which reads (9) Michalak (10) Wilkinson (12) Giteau. Scary or what?
(10) A little bit of luck... for WP, Stormers and Springbok lock Andries Bekker. He has not completed a full rugby season since 2008 and with Victor Matfield having now retired, his well-being is of national importance.
(11) A key to all the banks of Bloemfontein. Talk is that Frans Steyn wants out of his big-money deal in France to come home to South Africa. Word is that he wants to go back to the Cheetahs, where he attended school, despite the Free Staters being a bit short on cash. If robbing the banks of SA's Judicial Capital will do that... well, then fine!
(12) A copy of the latest motivational book by self-help guru Tony Robbins - for South Africa's Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula after his infamous Moer Hulle speech ahead of the Boks' departure for the 2011 Rugby World Cup.
(13) A time machine... for Kiwi commentator Ian Smith who called Thierry Dusautoir 'Thierry Henry' after the 2011 World Cup Final on live television! (As long as he does not make the same mistake twice... that is!!)
(14) In last year's 'Gift List' feature, we asked for a big rugby match at the Cape Town Stadium. Sadly, that did not come true in 2011. Even sadder, it won't be happening in 2012 either, after Saracens-gate...
(15) An exciting and enjoyable rugby year in 2012 - for all our loyal readers. Without trying to get too soppy; thanks for all your support in what was a VERY busy 2011 season... Right, time for some leftovers!
* Who or what have we forgotten?! Send your Christmas presents list by commenting BELOW!
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